Da Chronic part 2 mothafuckas!

Aight homeboyz and homegirlz. I went over to Tyrone's place again today to seez howz the weed be growin. Tyrone figurez it almost be ready. Naturally, since Iz a perfectionist I aksed Tyrone if weze can be testin it. Tyrone sez yes and soon as you can be saying 'shalangadang' weze wuz blazin a huge spliff.


I gotz to tell youze boyz and girlz that Tyrone's crop is the shit. Those British Columbia mothafuckas better watch out because Tyrone gotz the hydroponics shit goin on.

After we started blazin we put in a DVD and watched "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle" again. Youze best believin that between the joint and the movie we had a mad cravin for some White Castle. Of course they aint no White Castle in Saskatchewan (none that I ever seen anywayz) soze we had to go into town to the A and W (cuz their aint nuttin else). Of course we aint down with payin for no food. We parked a few blocks down the street and walked to the A&W. We waited by the drive through window. Some punks in a pickup truck pulled up and ordered mothafuckin Teen burger and fries and shakes. Tyrone and I could already taste it. Damn we wuz hungry. So, when the order wuz ready, we crawled right under the truck window. When the fastfood biatch passed the food to the punks in the truck, we ran up the side of the truck, grabbed the food and ran off. We jacked them mothafuckas for their food right in the drive through! A few moments later we were at the jeep. We jumped in and sped off in case 5-0 be showin up.

On the way back we drove by a farm and saw a fine-looking biatch standing by the side of the road.


We pulled over and introduced ourselvez. She said her name wuz "Luscious." Damn! She said she been turning tricks on the gravel road in front of that farm for the last month. Of course I gotz to thinkin that I could also use another ho in my stable. A pimp alwayz gotz to be lookin out for new talent. Me and Luscious gotz to talkin and befo you know it, she in the back of the jeep and weze headin home. I knowz what ya''l be thinkin - as soon as I gotz home I hit that booty. Well, the DJ Stubblejumper don't roll like that. First of all, I aint down with no sheep - I aint no oreo race traitor. Second of all, a good pimp don't be bangin his own ho's. If you be doin that, all the ho's start gettin jealous of one another etc etc. I aint gotz time for that bull-shit.

Sorry Iz can't be writin more now. Tyrone's chronic gotz me all fucked up...

It's da chronic mothafuckas!

I gotz a homeboy a few gopher holes down named Tyrone. Weze known each other forever and when weze wuz kidz we be gettin into all sortza trouble together. With me being busy with the rappin and the pimpin I aint seen Tyrone in a long time. I went and seen him and my bro has got the shit all worked out. He dug a gopher hole way the hell outz in the middle of nowhere and he set up an underground hydroponic operation. And youze best believin he aint growin no flowers or any of that shit.

My man Tyrone is growin a crop of whatz gonna be the finest weed around. I knowz everyone be talkin about British Columbia weed and how itz the best and I aint gonna dispute that. But Tyrone is on his game and when he startz somethin he aint stoppin until itz done right. For example, he jacked the electricity for the hydro gear from the farmer. I be doin that allz the time but every once in a while the farmer finds out, pulls the plug and my turntable aint turn no more until I getz set up again. But Tyrone be jackin electricity forever and he aint ever been caught. He just be real careful about where he jackin from and he be spendin a lot of time hidin the electrical wirez and all that shit.

So, sooner or later Tyrone gonna be harvestin a massive crop of ganja. When he do that, of course first thing right off weze gonna be blazin one fatass joint -and probably watch The Big Lebowski again. That shit is dope. After that though, Tyrone gotz to be moving his merchandise from his gopher hole to his customers. Tyrone aint down with selling no chronic to other gopherz, but he aint gotz no problem sellin to the other farm animalz and the to crackerz on the outside. Tyrone's got a problem though - distribution. He aint got no way to move the product. You be knowin and he be knowin, that the DJ is all over that. Just last week I went up to the farmhouse and jacked me a vehicle. Once of the farmer's kids left his radio-controlled jeep outside. When it got dark, I rolled in, hotwired it and brung it back to the gopher hole. The farmer probably thought his dumbass kid just lost it. He bought the kid another vehicle and I jacked that one too! I figurez that me, the jeep and a shipment of Tyrone's chronic be lookin something like this

You know what? Iz gonna be rollin like Ricky, Julian and Bubbles from The Trailer Park Boys mothafuckas! Plus I gotz cash coming in from the ho's and my rhymin is gettin tighter every day. pretty soon iz gonna have all the cash and chronic I could ever want. This niggaz is on da move!