Yo dawgz! Stick it to Da Man!

Tryin to make a livin theze dayz aint eazy. Especially if some punk-ass mothafucka iz alwayz on yo case and aint ever let up. Itz even harder if youze a gopher tryin to break outta the farm. Some peoplez be helpin you bust outta the hood and help you make it to the big time. But otherz dont want youze to go nowhereze. They be doin everythin they can to keep you under their feet. Iz talking about Da Man. Everywherez you be goin Da Man tryin to keep you down. If youze just a broke-ass nigga gopher from the hood, Da Man aint gonna do nuttin for you. Nuttin. On the farm, Da Man is the farmer.

Farmers are a bunch of racist cracker mothafuckas who aint give a shit about anyone on the farms except demselves and their family. Slavery be outlawed everywhere except for on the farm. On the farm, slavery aint just legal, it's a way of life. Da Man gots slaves everywhere - cows, chickens, pigs etc. And they be doin exactly what the farmer sez or else they get popped. Sometimez they be doin exactly what theze supposed to be doing but still they be getting popped!

Gophers like me ain't no slaves but we aint free either. Da Man can just cap a gopher anytimez he be wantin to and their aint no goddamn thing weze can do about it. Goin to the po-lice aint gonna do a damn thing cuz the whole system iz setup to protect and serve Da Man. I aint goin out like a sucka though. If some punk-ass farmer ever be tryin some bullshit with me I be takin him out gangter style. Just like Public Enemy sez, fight the power. I'll jack his mothafuckin John Deere tractor, ride up to the farmhouse and cap him and his whole goddamn racist mothafucka family. Don't fuck with a nigga gopher from the hood biatch!

Here come the ho's!!!

Aight mothafuckas! I dun told you befo that DJ Stubblejumper be coming at y'alls with some prime cut ho's. I gotz to make some money as a playa and a pimp to support my career as a rhyme saya. I also told you befo I only be dealin with the hi-society Saskatchewan ho's. I aint down wit them skanky Manitoba bitches. I spend allz sortza time this spring travellin round the province makin deals and gatherin up a whole bushel of hot ho's. I gotz some people lookin after them and now theyze in prime shape and Iz gonna introduce you to them. Here we go.


First up here is a ho out of North Battleford who goes by the name of Luscious. She is f-i-n-e fine. I guarantee that if you spend a night with Luscious, she will grind away until he sun comez up. She gotz the skillz and the stamina. She can also suck a bowling ball through a garden hose.


Next up is two sisters named Sugar and Spice (that's Sugar on the left and Spice on the right). I met them on 20th street in Saskatoon and I gotz to tell y'all that theze two bitches are the bomb. The bomb. They took me back to their crib and did shit to me that is probably illegal everywherez except Bangkok. Believe the hype!



Next up is Luan whoze from parents immigrated from China - they now livez in Regina. Yeah I even gotz Asian bitches for you. You luckee, she suckee. Aw yeah!


Ya, youze know DJ Stubblejumper is the man wit the plan. Ize even gotz the shaved bitches fo yallz!

Last on the menu is Samantha. I met her at a hotel bar in Prince Albert and Iz can tell ya she is down for anythin. And I mean anythin. You wanna dress her up in some school girl outfit and get yo freak on? She down wit that. You wanna do some crazy mothafucka S&M shit. You best believe she down wit that - and she likes it.

Let me know tell y'allz that these ho's is the hi-est quality you eva dun seen! I gotz some 4H kidz lookin after them makin sure they stayz in prime condition. Theyz clean, well fed and alwayz be in da mood for some hot, hot sexiness.

I youze be interested in anyone of these fine ladiez just drop me a line and I'll hook you up. I can even deliver straight do your door.

Pimps up, ho's down mothafuckas!

Wazz up niggas? This iz DJ Stubblejumper, the hip-hoppest gopher reprezentin Prince Albert, Saskatchewan.

Yo niggazz! I aint gotz the time to be postin here and maintaining my own goddamn blog. Iz be postin here. Mothafucka!